Two more days.

Only 2 more days until the big day. 2 more days until I drop Bennett off at big school. 2 more days until I'll be all on my own for 7 hours every day. 

There are so many emotions that I'm feeling this week. I'm filled with nostalgia as I think of all the things we've done together over the past 5 years. Just me and him. Buddies. Friends. Constant companions. I know everything there is to know about that little guy. No one else knows all of those things. No one else knows how to fix his sandwich or how to calm his fears. No one else knows how to finish his thoughts. No one else knows how to decipher those mumbles that are uttered in the middle of a TV show. 

No one else knows how to push my buttons :)  No one else knows how to talk me in to trips to Target or a stop for an ICEE.  No one else plays hide and seek in the clothes racks while I shop. No one else complains when I listen to 'my' music in the car.  No one else can have a meaningful conversation with me while I am sleeping. No one else kisses me until I roll out of the bed in the morning (way too early in the morning!!). 

And yet, while I love the time we've had together, I am so proud of the little man that he's becoming. I know that he's ready for big school. I've done my best for the past 5 years - all in an effort to get him ready for this important start of school. Now that it's here, though, I'm sad and afraid. Not sad and afraid for him. For me.

I know that it will be ok, though. I'll find other things to fill my time. And I'll be ready for him to come home every day at 3 :)

I am thankful for the son that God has given me. Thankful for the blessing of staying at home with him. And, thankful for the opportunity to see him go off to big school to learn to navigate the world without me. Please, God, take care of him. And take care of me too.